There Is a Loud Silence in New York Today: A Monologue

Wednesday, November 9, 2016.

There is a loud silence in New York today. The city is mourning. I am in awe he won the damn election. I fear for my future. Most of all, I fear for the children. Hatred is spreading like wild fire in America. After years of fighting for equality, it seems like it was for nothing.  I know we’re entitled to vote for whomever we believe can run this country, but after all of the bullshit this man has said about Muslims, African Americans, Mexicans, LBGTQ, and women, people still supported him. I woke up from an uneasy night to Facebook posts about how “We’re all doomed” and “All hope is gone in the U.S.” This election made me feel the same way I felt on September 11. I was in middle school during the attacks. I remember leaving from homeroom to head over to my English class. As soon as I took a seat, my teacher told us that one of the twin towers had collapsed. We all thought he was joking. But, when I looked into his eyes, I could tell he was serious. I was scared for my life. At twelve years old, I only focused on Barbie dolls, my mom and dad, watching Saturday cartoons, and idolizing rap artists like Lil Bow Wow and Lil’ Romeo. They were my sanctuaries at the time. I did not understand what was happening in the world around me. When my mother and niece came early to pick me up from school, they were both in tears. I started to cry as well. After dealing with the death of Aaliyah a month before, I couldn’t take anymore heartache. Sixteen years later, that feeling was back. On my way to night school, everyone was glaring at me. On Facebook, people deleted me from their “friend” lists. The funny thing about Trump winning is him exposing the racism in America. Hearing “Make America White Again” and “Lock Her Up” chants made me realize how fucked up these people sound. These types of messages are affecting the youth. I think about those college students who took pictures of themselves in blackface. Why would students throw away their college education by painting their faces black? The only acceptance they’re getting is from bigots. I feel sorry for them because these are the kind of messages Trump and the media are sending out. I ask myself everyday: “How did we get to where we are today?” If we came together as one, we could have lived peacefully. Instead, we ignored every opportunity that was thrown in our face. Overall, I will continue to keep my head up. At the end the day, I am still a struggling African American female who will continue “fighting the good fight.” I believe the loud silence in New York signifies the defeat of the hopeful and the guilt of the hopeless.

 

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Talaya N. was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. An aspiring visual artist, poet, and teacher, she is studying Early Childhood Education at City College of New York’s Center for Worker Education.

Skyline Photo (c) Jose Almonte 

Author Photo courtesy of the author

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